I'm Committed!

So you know I'm committed for your entertainment, since I still have something to say after working my real job all day yesterday, then boxing about a million pies and finally coming home to watch DWTS on the DVR. Enough ranting about myself...let's move on.

Who has a Bakersfield, CA sweatshirt? REALLY!?!?! Of all the places in CA you could get a souvenir sweatshirt, would it really be Bakersfield? Thanks Bristol for making that happen.

I will say she is better....but she still sucks! Again, how does she get the same scores as Kyle? She didn't even move her feet in her first dance. Oh ya, and nice outfit...I think I saw her perform that the last time I was at Disneyland.

Their second dance should have been way better. She is too young to have gone with a routine like that, (geez...I can't think of the movie title right now) it should have been bouncy and silly like Kyles.

Speaking of which, I loved Kyle looking like a pudgy Fresh Prince of Bel Air....that killed me. He is too fun. You could tell he was enjoying himself. I don't remember the specifics of the first dance, but I do remember it was better than Bristols. I'm still pissed!!!

Baby kicked butt as always...her first dance was beautiful. I loved her freestyle with her watermelon...I really need to watch that movie again. Anyway, her freestyle was so much fun and age appropriate (see Bristol..you should have paid attention). Ahhh....if she doesn't win I will just...........well probably whine because really...what else can I do.?

I guess we shall see tonight.

Semi-finals

How pissed was Brandy that she got the same scores as Bristol Palin for their first dances? I would have been livid! That being said... I was surprised after last weeks issue that Brandy spent so much time at the beginning of her dances not doing much. Isn't that what they were complaining about last week? Whatev!!!

And seriously.....I thought it was a solo dance, not a solo walk across the stage. All Bristol did was spread her bat wings and walk. Lame!!! And since she's all for the Tea Party, maybe for her freestyle she can do, "I'm a little tea pot." That would be perfect for her.

Speaking of perfect....Baby was!!! She is truly amazing, I have no other words.

I didn't start out liking Kyle much. I didn't think was going to get very far, but he has proved to be very entertaining. He really is a man-child. Kind of like the Brittany Spears song...he's not a boy, but not yet a man. Go Brittany...thanks for the profound words.

Anyway, I guess we shall see how this all works out.

!?!?!??!!?!?!!?

How could this even be happening...it's like we are living a nightmare!

Kurt's scores should have never been as low as Bristols and again....SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE THERE!!!

Do you think that every person who is still pissed off about Sarah not winning the election that they now vote for Bristol as pay back? WTF!!!!!!!

Dance to no music.

I'm not sure what to say...this is getting really tough. I am really surprised how good Kyle has gotten. I guess when you have Steve-O swinging his junk around you feel like you have to work harder.

Why do Bristol and Kurt get the same scores? She only puts in about half the effort Kurt does. At least he tries and really wants to be there. She continues to be a whiny baby and lacks effort. I mean she couldn't even remember the second dance without the music. I bet she doesn't know her ABC's unless she sings the song.

I thought Brandy was the b.... in the relationship but apparently Maks had a little something to say about his lack of choreography last night. Maybe he was just pissy cuz the news broke about Karina's engagement yesterday. Whatevs...Maks and Brandy were made for each other. Oh ya...and how did Brandy not know her Katy Perry song? What, is she new?

I was soooooo relieved that Baby decided to stay in the competition. I was worried for a moment that she would back down from the pain (and who could blame her). I LOVED how they started the second dance with a Dirty Dancing move. It brings back such great memories.

Is it possible Bristol wont get kicked off tonight????????

Oye!!!

Go Geez!!!! Not another week with her....I can't take anymore. Even Mark was shocked that she didn't get kicked off. He was happier than she was. How will she make it through next week....she can't dance when she knows the music so to do a dance and not know what the song is until that night....it's going to be a train wreck. I guess it wont be any different from her other performances.

I'm gonna miss the big Leprechaun.

Group Night

I loved the group dances but they did seem a little unfair. Kristi's group did not have the strongest dancers for sure. I'm still trying to figure out why Kristi and Apolo were "teams" anyway, since all they did was show up for a rehearsal. Whatev...it was fun seeing all the past dancers.

I was actually impressed with most of the dances last night, which really puts a wrench in my rant.

While Kyle ain't no Maks, he did a great job. I was impressed by his abs...nice drawing.

Rick looked like the worlds tallest Leprechaun...it was kind of creepy.

Speaking of creepy, Brandy's gloves gave me the eeby-geebies. There was just something not right about them. BTW: Can she be kicked off just out of spite? I really think she should be.

I have decided that I don't really care how Kurt does, cuz he's just so handsome and nice. It's really enough for me and he can stay a while longer.

Baby kicked ass as always. Can we just give her the mirror ball trophy now, cuz I think she is messing up her body by continuing.

Oh dear Bristol, you are a great big spaz. There is such a detachment when you dance, it's like you go to your bad place and space out. You are dancing for fun....not being tortured.

One last thing....I don't think I can say it enough. Why do they bring all these dreamy men back and let them hang out with their shirts on? Don't they know we need some sexy ab time?

Surprised!?!?!

I read an article this morning that The Hills' departure was a surprise. What?!?! They must not be reading my blog or they would know what's up. The only thing I am surprised with, is the fact that they didn't to a double elimination. WTF People!!!!

I also read that Tony and Maks are opening a dance studio together. I'm in! I don't want to dance, I just want to watch. They better be instructing with their shirts off....

Rock Out!!!

If Bristol or the Hills don't go home tonight...I might be forced to boycott the show. Seriously, it's time for double elimination.

How disappointing for Mark to hear Bristol say she didn't put all her effort into last weeks dance. WTF!!!! Why are you on if you aren't going to try?

The Hills looked like she was just stomping around the stage and I thought for sure she was going to eat it. Too bad...that would have been worth it.

I think Derrick was channeling his inner Adam Lambert and loved rocking the guy-liner. Thank you Derrick for not incorporating any of Adam's moves into the dance.

They need to stop being mean to Baby, I don't think she did worse than the Hills. I realized she stumbled but still, BE NICE...her training is in dirty dancing not ballroom.

Oh yeah, I was a little confused because it was Rock night, but I thought it was more like futuristic night. Everyone was in silver and heavy make-up. I thought they would going for a Gene Simmons thing. Whatev!

I love that Rick Fox danced to a Footloose song, but he didn't look like no Kevin Bacon. Shoot!

I'm not sure how Kurt danced, I couldn't get passed his burgundy get-up. BTW: What was the point of Brett Michaels? Really....of all people to help Kurt Warner??? Random!

So apparently Brandy's aunt Flo was in town, what a little baby wha wha. I thought she was going to pass out or cry like a little brat when she finished her dance.

I can't decide if I'm pissed off that they wasted the first 30 minutes with the top 10 dances or I actually enjoyed seeing them again. Oh well, I'll let you decide this one.

Name that TV show.

1. Who knew The Hills had a theme song?
2. I Googled "How to tie a sarong" and stuffing it in the waistband of your bikini didn't come up.

Things Bristol probably didn't know about the show she danced to:
a. They were also a band.
b. The years they were popular.
c. Couldn't name all the members.
BTW: she should have left the ape suit on because taking it off just made her dance worse.

What happened to Mrs. Brady....she looked like a train wreck. I feel like I expected more from her because it was the theme of her own show. Boo!

I loved Kyle's answer to the following:
Q. Have you ever seen Charlies Angels before?
A. Just the one with Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore.
Did he really think he looked like Bill Murray?

I just don't like Brandy, she annoys me to no end. It's not that she's really a bad dancer but I wish she would go away. So....Good Bye B, it's been real.

Thank you BFFy for knowing the theme to Hill Street Blues. That was a tough one. Oh yeah, and Ricky, you can handcuff me anytime.

BeWitched or space dogs...Really?!?!!?

I seriously thought Baby was going to dance to Leave it to Beaver, she sure didn't look like Peg Bundy.

So here's the Situation....

he stinks! I actually feel really bad saying that because I really like him...on the Jersey Shore. I realize he's not a dancer and is trying really hard, but compared to the others, No Bueno!

Why were they so mean to Kurt? It was his anniversary, shouldn't he have gotten a break? BTW: He's so handsome...I just want to kiss his face.

Speaking of face kissing and wanting to throw up EVERYWHERE....Flo, your (what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah!) spectacle was NOT APPROPRIATE! Thank you, drive threw.

Oh ya, Brandy: a) this is DWTS no a Toga party. and 2) when Maks tries to do something nice, play along, don't be a butt head.

The only nice thing I can say about the Teen Activist is...she's got a cute kid.

Did the Foxy guy even dance? I only remember making a comment about his head but I'm not sure he actually danced.

Baby is still my favorite, she can do no wrong. She looks beautiful and I can't wait to see her win.

Here's a story for you!

OMG OMG OMG...I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get this written tonight after the last dance. I can't believe Rick ran his hands up her arm pits. The thought makes me cringe. Doesn't he know I HATE arm pits! Lucky for you, I was able to pull it together and plug on.

So after the first 2 dances I was excited about story night....then it turned lame and I realized it wasn't going to end happily ever after.

For having cancer and surgeries in her neck, or where ever, I was really impressed with Baby. You could tell it was hard for her to get through the twirly things, and seriously..could you do it?

Flo's dance was sweet until it was geriatric porn and she kissed Corky. Come on ABC work with me, I don't want to see that stuff. Sexy abs, YES...Not Sexy kissing, NO! Thank you!

What's going to happen when The Hills has to dance to something fast and catchy? She only does those long slow dances and I'm not sure she has the moves to step it up.

The message behind Cho's dance seemed awesome but I didn't see her dance. I mean, I was watching the show, but I couldn't get past the gun belt thing she has on her leg. I was trying to decide if it was a tattoo or a prop. Either way it was RANDOM!!!

Thank goodness The Situations dance was futuristic cuz he danced like a robot. Plus, you know how I feel about mesh on the men. It kills me!

Could you imagine training with Brandy and Maks...it would be like welcome to Snatchville where everyone acts like an a-hole. What's with those two?

Weekly dirty thought...I will be Kurt Warner's naughty little princess any day.

Dear Bristol, I don't think you would ever give a homeless person a second glance. Your dance was unbelievable and I would like you to take your whole act and stuff it. Best Regards,

One final rant: All week I have wanted to send hate mail to Michael Bolton for being such a weinie about Bruno telling him he sucked. If Michael was really in that much denial about his suckiness then he should be thanking Bruno for being so honest. That being said...why is he singing in place of Susan Boyle tomorrow night? Really, they couldn't find a less disgruntled singer to bring back?

Tony's going to wax what?!?!

I know that I was stoked when the Hoff got the boot last week, so why was Rick Fox wearing the same pleather outfit this week? Does he want to be voted off next.... BTW: Did he motorboat his partner...I think so.

How many Dalmatians had to be sacrificed to make Michael Bolton's jacket? I bet it was more than the amount of points he scored for the evening.

I didn't know you could slut up a nerd routine...thanks for ruining that for me Brandy.

I seriously thought we were going to have another Marie Osmond incident. It looked like Baby was going to pass out for sure.

I really want to slap the wardrobe people, don't they know black is slimming. Why do they keep putting Kyle in these fitted white shirts? I'm mean talk about jiggly parts....where is Niecey when you need her.

All I gotta say is, I'll get into the Danger Zone with Kurt Warner any day. HOT!

Shocked!!!! Just shocked!!! I never thought I would see the day when The Situation could keep a jacket on for 2 hours. I was sure that thing was going to fly off the minute he hit the stage.

Dear Bristol, please go away, you bother me. Thanks, Shannon

P.S. Happy Birthday Julie!!!

Premier

I'm so overwhelmed right now I don't even know where to start. First of all, I'm just glad that I was able to hold my dinner down while watching the Hoff. That being said, I'm sure to have nightmares about that Sexpot. Ugh!!! I just threw up in my mouth a little...AGAIN! You know what I really want to dream about is a Rick Fox and Kurt Warner sandwich. Yummy!

OK, really Mom...you watched the whole show 3 hours before me and the only thing you could text was...be nice to Michael, he was nervous. Who cares, he's a nerd...it's 2010...TAKE OUT THE FREAKEN EARRING! He got rid of the freaky housewife, and the hair...come on Michael you're almost there.

I never realized that Flo was a dirty old lady. I mean, she's no Cloris Leachman (Thank Goodness!) but still, she has a mouth and so sassy.

You know, I'm never one to take advise from my brother but if there is one thing I could pass along to Audrina...The bigger the hoops, the bigger the whore. Girl, you better check yourself, this is a family show.

Enough stalling, let's just address the elephant in the room. Bristal Palin has deemed herself a "teen activist." WTF! Is this a joke or what?!?! The sad thing is, her being on the show isn't even about her, it's still about her mom. I guess there is that part of me that sympathises with her, if my mom hunted animals and ran for VP I'd get myself knocked up just to piss her off too.

Seriously, I watch that train wreck they call Jersey Shore. Love It!!! There hasn't been an episode where I haven't seen The Situation dance, what happened? How do we get a John Travolta finger move and no fist pump?

Ahhh...who didn't have chills the whole time you watched Baby? I don't think she was the best but I would strike myself with lightening before I said anything mean. RIP Patrick.

Snap out of it people, we're not done yet. Who did Louis piss off? Really, I'm asking! First Kate now Cho. I like Margaret Cho...as a comedian. Why would pretending to mess up and look like an idiot be a good idea for the first dance? Duh people!

OK, now I'm done. I think there were other dances but whatevs...hopefully they will be more memorable next week.

History

So if you don't know me by now (why are you on my blog?)...Just Kidding...I have a mouth aka: sparkling personality, and always something to say. This little adventure started a few years ago with my friend Julie leaving the company (BTW Julie, I'm still pissed!) and we couldn't compare DWTS notes (or any other gossip) so I sent her an email of what I thought of the show. Always adding my witty humor, of course! Next thing I know I am forwarding the email to Norma (cuz obviously she cares what I think). Usually I find myself entertaining, but apparently others do as well and from there my weekly emails have spread. So here it is, about 4 seasons later and finally Korie convinces me to turn this what?...rant, commentary, judgement (you pick) into a blog. Thanks Korie!

I hope you all enjoy!